a lesson in fast

Right from the onset let me clarify that i did not learn how to be fast, rather i learned what fast is this last weekend at the first CX race of the season. And in learning what fast is, i also learned that i am most definitely not fast. The good news, however, is that i'm not the most not fast, only the 2nd to most not fast.

Last year i did pretty well in the 35+B category, so i decided this year to jump up to the 35+A category. As CX season has been approaching i have been reconsidering this decision, however, since i am much fatter and slower this year than last. Check out the potbelly in my victory salute photo.

That's more of an ironic victory salute, because i was, in fact, the second to last finisher.

But i decided to go with the 35+A group because DC and the artist were both doing it and even though i knew i wasn't as fast as them, i could at least race with them. I started out with some firm goals: get more than half way through the race before getting lapped by the As and don't get lapped by any of the 35+As. I barely made my first goal. Bart, Ali, and co. lapped me about 34 minutes into the race. it wasn't too long afterwords, however, when my 2nd goal fell gracelessly from the bike seat and i was lapped by Art O'C and then a few other 35As. At this point i revised my goals and set the new goal of not getting lapped by my brother or either of the notorious Glenn brothers (aka MIB). That goal fell to the wayside not long afterwards as well when the three of them and Todd H. came by me wiping the dust from their pain-ridden faces.


At this point i revised my goals yet again, and since i could see Krachty slowly gaining on me i determined that he would not also lap me. Of course this goal was much more achievable since there was only half a lap left, but alas, i was able to hold him off for the last twisty turns before the finish.

Oh well, at least i made three bucks from Slyfox, enough to buy a chocolate milk and some cashews for the drive home.

Tucking a dollar bill into my bibs.

Despite getting run over by one of the MIB after he fumbled on one of the barriers, the artist pulled past everyone in his group of 4 at the line for an impressive 9th place finish.


And much to our dismay (because we looked forward to seeing him in his new skinsuit every week) DC went hard into one of the barriers when he couldn't get his foot out of the pedal on a dismount and broke his collarbone in three places for a tragic season ender. Lesson learned: don't race in a new pair of pedals you've never used before. Funny thing was we were talking about it at the start line, i guess it's actually not that funny now, but maybe next fall when DC is racing again it will be funny.

DC before he went down. photo credit: the epicurist flogger.

At the end of the day T-dub and i went home and made quite possibly the best hamburger i have ever had: Green chile (serrano, numex, annaheim, and poblano) relish on top of copious amounts of a queso ranchero sauce, a big slice of a hawaiian pineapple tomato and a toasted bun. Not gonna get faster eating this way, but it was sublime.